December 2007
He’ll Never…
For those of you with a good memory, you may recall that I lost my step-father this year. Since then everyday has been difficult, but it’s celebrating the holidays that have proved to be the most challenging. On Thanksgiving I caught myself saying “He’ll never…” at least a dozen times. For example: He’ll never be here for another Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday etc. He’ll never see me graduate from college, get married or someday possibly have a child. Those are a lot of celebratory occasions that will not be so merry without the company of such an important person in my life.
I know that time heals all wounds; I have lost many loved ones in my life and survived. But it’s amazing how many simple things you catch yourself missing on a day to day basis. I’ll never get to buy him another greeting card, ask him for academic advice, high-five him after a really good answer on Jeopardy, giddily explain to him all of my travels, taste his chili, cheer on a WVU football game with him, or hear him call me by my nickname again.
So what I have prepared myself for is a year of firsts from July 15th 2007—July 15th 2008. My mom and all of my siblings will have a “first birthday without him”, every holiday will come and go, and their wedding anniversary will dig deep in my mom. So how does one move on, when every occasion is a constant reminder of what is missing? I know that a lot of people can relate to what I am going through and have themselves experienced grief and suffering over the loss of a loved one. It is an unfortunate part of life, one that just makes us stronger I suppose. Happy Holidays, and please remember to be thankful for what you have, grateful that you’re alive and cherish those you love and who love you in return. Peace.
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Let Your Voice Be Heard
How many times do you read or hear a news story and it begins “Research shows” or “Studies show”? Do you ever question where they get this information, and wonder why you’ve never been asked about these topics? So who is it that gets to speak for “everyone” and have these percentages applied to the population as a whole?
Well, by being an out lesbian in cyber space I have been given the opportunity to let my voice be heard and finally have a say in statistics that interest or affect me—and you can have one to! The study is very interesting and totally legitimate (not to mention harmless and takes approximately ten minutes). It is specifically designed for the LGBT community and covers everything from our likelihood of being discriminated in the workplace and healthcare industry to our living arrangements and activeness in our neighborhoods. It asks about discrimination (if or at what level it exists) where you reside in reference to your neighbors, local vendors and strangers on the sidewalk. A question I found most intriguing is “Did you move to your current location due to any specific LGBT laws, or did you take into account these factors when choosing your residence?”
Anyways, it’s very simple, but I love to feel like a part of something even when it is anonymous (and this survey completely is and lets you skip questions you are uncomfortable answering). Also I live with a Scientist and a majority of my friends are in the research/academic field—so I know the importance of studies like this and I like to help a student out with his or her work anytime I can. So if for nothing else, help a sister out and participate in her questionnaire. After all, she’s being brave by focusing her thesis on LGBT issues, the least we can do is anonymously give her a hand for letting our voices be heard for a change, and hopefully getting other people interested in what we have to say with that voice. You never know, maybe some good will come out of it. Maybe a bigot somewhere will get a hold of it and see what strife we have to endure on a daily basis that makes us so unequal to our counterparts and it will encourage change—or at the very least dialogue in the academic community.
The link is provided below for those who wish to participate.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=KEN2HtTDZGr_2fX1unwOzKrQ_3d_3d
*This was the original email I received in case you were curious about what exactly is involved*
My partner and I are conducting a national LGBTQ survey and will be presenting the results at a political science conference in New Orleans this January. I was hoping that you would consider filling it out and then passing it along to any friends/family/acquaintances who also identify as LGBTQ and/or posting it to your bulletin.
Thanks in advance!
Anna
Details below…….
LGBTQ SURVEY
You are invited to participate in an academic study examining the social and political attitudes and behaviors of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) individuals. As not much is known about the LGBTQ population in the United States, it is important to capture attitudes and behaviors in order to determine if there is indeed a distinctive culture that has the ability to wield social and political influence. Unfortunately, past studies have been geared on the attitudes towards this group, and not actually of the LGBTQ population. Because there has been very little research done in this area, your participation is incredibly important.
After you have completed the survey, we strongly encourage you to forward this survey to your friends, family, and acquaintances that also identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer.
The researchers conducting this study are a graduate student of political science at California State University, Chico and a doctoral student of political science at the University of New Orleans.
The survey is conducted online with tools in place to ensure that your answers are completely anonymous. Your identity will not be disclosed to anyone, including the researchers. Your participation is completely voluntary and you may skip any questions that may cause you emotional distress, or end the survey at any time by simply clicking on the End Survey link. There is no material benefit for participating in this survey.
Please feel free to conduct the researchers with any questions or concerns you may have regarding this survey.
Anna R. Ball
MA Candidate, Political Science
California State University , Chico
aball6@mail.csuchico.edu
Robynn M. Kuhlmann, MA
PhD Student, Political Science
University of New Orleans
rkuhlman@uno.edu
